Happy Victory In Europe Day, everybody! F*** the Nazis! Both past and present!

I won’t be around much this weekend. On Saturday, we’re driving out to the country for a big family reunion and to celebrate my mom, who’s been fighting leukemia for 12 years, ringing the bell at MD Anderson. Oh, and it’s also her 62nd birthday. And then I’m singing at church on Sunday morning, so I’ll catch you mofos sometime on Sunday afternoon. Be good while I’m gone!

Why is it that all of our international holidays end up being just different excuses to get drunk? I mean… you’ve got Cinco de Mayo, Saint Patrick’s Day, Mardi Gras, Oktoberfest… maybe something else happens in other countries, but here, we just get hammered.

In honor of Star Wars Day (May the Fourth be with you!), I decided to post one of my favorite videos of all time. Yes folks, it’s Darth Vader, with all his lines replaced by Brick Top from Snatch. And it’s absolutely glorious. Enjoy.

“We all know Jesus had the Apostles, but did he have like a best friend? Was he ever like, ‘I think everyone knows the Apostles, and this here is my buddy Earl. We were in marching band together. He thinks this whole Messiah thing is craaaazy.'” – Jim Gaffigan

“I finally figured out my goals in life. See, the important part in knowing your goals is not to set some big, impossible goal — something you can never reach. You gotta have a series of smaller goals that you can accomplish and get the reward and then move on to the next one. So this is what I have done. My goal right now? I want to be the All-Being: Master of Time, Space, and Dimension… then, I want to go to Europe.” – Steve Martin

Whew… that was quite a weekend. Now we’re back to pretty much nothing happening until training camp.