Happy World Hypnotism Day, everyone! You are getting sleepy… sleeeeeeeepy…

What’s on your wish list for the draft this year? We’re already got the two marquee positions — quarterback and edge rusher — locked up, so what positions do you think Nick and DeMeco should target? I’d say coverage linebacker, interior lineman, another deep threat receiver, a legit backup quarterback, a tight end who can actually block, and maybe another running back.

As we enter 2024, here are a few things to be thankful for:

• C.J. Stroud is our motherf***in’ quarterback.
• DeMeco Ryans is our motherf***in’ coach.
• Will Anderson, Jr. is the motherf***in’ Terminator.
• No matter what happens on Saturday, the Texans are guaranteed a winning record.
• After three garbage seasons, the Texans are one win away from the playoffs.
• The BESFs will 100% be at home crying into their fake Oilers jerseys.
• For the third year in a row, Alabama will NOT win the CFB Championship.
• The Roughnecks are coming back in March.
• Deadpool 3 comes out this summer.
• Oh, and remember when a lot of people said that trading DeAndre Hopkins to the Cardinals for the corpse of David Johnson was one of the worst trades of all time? Well, I think the Browns trading for Deshaun Watson may have taken that title.

Happy New Year! I’d like to give a big shout-out to the Texans’ defensive line, who finished the game yesterday with six sacks (two by Will Anderson, who just came back from injury), eight TFLs, 12 QB hits, a forced fumble, a scoop-and-score, and only gave up 53 total rush yards.