Hey guys! What day is it today?

Happy World Hypnotism Day, everyone! You are getting sleepy… sleeeeeeeepy…

What’s on your wish list for the draft this year? We’re already got the two marquee positions — quarterback and edge rusher — locked up, so what positions do you think Nick and DeMeco should target? I’d say coverage linebacker, interior lineman, another deep threat receiver, a legit backup quarterback, a tight end who can actually block, and maybe another running back.

As we enter 2024, here are a few things to be thankful for:

• C.J. Stroud is our motherf***in’ quarterback.
• DeMeco Ryans is our motherf***in’ coach.
• Will Anderson, Jr. is the motherf***in’ Terminator.
• No matter what happens on Saturday, the Texans are guaranteed a winning record.
• After three garbage seasons, the Texans are one win away from the playoffs.
• The BESFs will 100% be at home crying into their fake Oilers jerseys.
• For the third year in a row, Alabama will NOT win the CFB Championship.
• The Roughnecks are coming back in March.
• Deadpool 3 comes out this summer.
• Oh, and remember when a lot of people said that trading DeAndre Hopkins to the Cardinals for the corpse of David Johnson was one of the worst trades of all time? Well, I think the Browns trading for Deshaun Watson may have taken that title.

Happy New Year! I’d like to give a big shout-out to the Texans’ defensive line, who finished the game yesterday with six sacks (two by Will Anderson, who just came back from injury), eight TFLs, 12 QB hits, a forced fumble, a scoop-and-score, and only gave up 53 total rush yards.