Wanna be a baller, shot caller,
Twenty-inch blades on the Impala,
Call her, gettin’ laid tonight,
Swisher rolled tight, got sprayed by Ike.
I hit the highway, making money the fly way,
But there’s got to be a better way!
A better way, better way, yeah.

Bryce Young (after eight games)
1,375 yards, 8 TDs, 7 INTs, 26 sacks, 77.1 rating

C.J. Stroud (after eight games)
2,270 yards, 14 TDs, 1 INT, 18 sacks, 102.9 rating

Happy Chaos Never Dies Day to all those who celebrate, especially the parents!

Okay folks, here’s a discussion question: As of today, Nico Collins has a total of 631 receiving yards and four touchdowns, averaging 78.9 yards per game; meanwhile, Tank Dell has a total of 454 receiving yards and four touchdowns, averaging 64.9 yards per game. Which one of these two will be our leading receiver (in yardage) by the end of the season? Who will have the most touchdowns?

Happy 80th birthday to Stephen Greenblatt, world-famous Shakespearean scholar and author of at least two of the books I used while obtaining my masters degree, Will in the World: How Shakespeare Became Shakespeare and Hamlet in Purgatory.

So hey, y’all remember how I made different banner images for the Postgame Thread, depending on whether we win or lose? Well, for the last several minutes of our game yesterday, I was on the site dashboard frantically switching the banner image back and forth every time I thought the game was gonna go a certain way. It made an already stressful ending just a tad more complicated.

Also, my condolences to My Ball Zach Ertz of the Nic Cage Memorial League, who had C.J. Stroud and his 41.80 fantasy points riding his bench, while Lamar Jackson (his starter) sat back and let Baltimore’s running backs do all this work.