In honor of today’s date, I’d like to tell you all about something that happened in 411 AD. You see, a few years prior, this Roman military leader named Flavius Claudius Constantinus — who had been stationed in Britain to defend Roman settlements from the Scots, Picts, and Saxons — rose to power and was declared Emperor Constantine III by his fellow soldiers. Anyway, in 411 AD, the rightful heir to the Western Roman Empire (Honorius) sent a couple of generals up to Britain to take down Constantine, and he was eventually beheaded. But the most interesting part is that, according to legend, Constantine was the father of Uther Pendragon, and thus the grandfather of King Arthur.

Wow… today is exactly two months away from my wedding. Get excited, mofos.

It’s finally the weekend. Thank God.

For those who celebrate, happy Good Friday. For those who don’t, happy… regular Friday.

I posted this yesterday evening, but I thought it would be a decent discussion topic to start the day…

According to Patrick Storm, the Texans have now met with 49 different rookie prospects. Of those 49 prospects, 15 have visited (or will visit) Houston, and nine have had multiple meetings with the team.

However, only six players have been in Houston and had multiple meetings:

• Bryce Young, QB
• CJ Stroud, QB
• Anthony Richardson, QB
• Demarvion Overshown, LB
• Julius Brents, CB
• Rakim Jarrett, WR

What day is it today?

April the Fourth be with you!

Wait, that’s not right…

“I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don’t need a receipt for the doughnut. I’ll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut… end of transaction. We don’t need to bring ink and paper into this. I just can’t imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend: ‘Don’t even act like I didn’t get that doughnut! I got the documentation right here… oh, wait it’s at home… in the file… under D… for doughnut.'” – Mitch Hedberg