If anyone cares, today is my dad’s 63^rd birthday. For reference purposes, other notable people born on August 16^th include over-the-hill Houston Astros catcher Martín Maldonado, quirky Kiwi film director Taika Waititi, alcoholic morning show host Kathie Lee Gifford, and last but not least we have Nigel Terry, the actor who played King Arthur in John Boorman’s 1981 fantasy classic Excalibur.

Well folks, in honor of National Phillip Day, we will now honor the famous Phillips of the world: We’ve got singer and multi-instrumentalist Phil Collins, influential sci-fi author Philip K. Dick, mustachioed TV quack Dr. Phil McGraw, and the brilliant actor Philip Seymour Hoffman. But most of all, we give glory to Uncle Phil, a wealthy judge who welcomed his troubled nephew to live with his family in Bel-Air.

I watched Kill Bill: Volume 1 last night. I hadn’t watched it in a long time. That movie still kicks ass.

We’re going to Drunk Shakespeare tonight (again). If you’ve never been, you should go. It’s hilarious.

My thoughts on the game last night are as follows:

• I really wanted to see Dameon Pierce, and his absence caused me to be irrationally filled with rage.
• Stroud didn’t play long enough for me to have a strong opinion, but he definitely needs the starting O-line.
• Speaking of QBs, I think I’d let Keenum stay as backup and try to get a mid-to-late round pick for Mills.
• Our defense is gonna be legit this year. I’m convinced already. Bulls on Parade, baby!
• Watching Tank Dell run, get open, and pick up YAC gives me an enormous football boner.

Preseason is finally upon us, folks.

Well Texans fans, there’s only one day left until our first preseason game. Start drinkin’ that Battle Red Kool-Aid, mofos. If you had to pick one player who you’re most excited to see on the field tomorrow night (other than C.J. Stroud), who would it be?

Happy National Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Day to all those who celebrate.