What day is it today?

April the Fourth be with you!

Wait, that’s not right…

“I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don’t need a receipt for the doughnut. I’ll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut… end of transaction. We don’t need to bring ink and paper into this. I just can’t imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend: ‘Don’t even act like I didn’t get that doughnut! I got the documentation right here… oh, wait it’s at home… in the file… under D… for doughnut.'” – Mitch Hedberg

Hey, it’s the weekend thread!

…or maybe it’s not.

April Fools!

…or is it?

Tomorrow is April Fools Day, so don’t believe, like, half of the stuff you read online… actually, this applies most days.

“Wi not trei a holiday in Sweeden this yer? See the loveli lakes, the wonderful telephone system, and mani interesting furry animals, including the majestic moose. A moose once bit my sister…. No realli! She was karving her initials on the moose with the sharpened end of an interspace toothbrush given her by Svenge — her brother-in-law — an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian movies: The Hot Hands of an Oslo Dentist, Fillings of Passion, The Huge Molars of Horst Nordfink…. Mynd you, moose bites kan be pretti nasti…”

Apparently today is World Piano Day, so I recommend listening to some Elton John. Aside from his classic albums like Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Honky Château, and Madman Across the Water, I’m also a big fan of his latter-day release Preachtree Road. Go check it out.

This is your daily thread:

This is your daily thread on drugs:

Any questions?

I got to see John Wick: Chapter 4 on Saturday night. It was insanely badass. I also wrote a really nerdy blog post about all the references to The Odyssey and Dante’s Inferno, which you can read right HERE if you want. And now, onto football…

It’s Saturday. We don’t have any kiddos this weekend. My fiancée and I are getting a couples massage, going antique shopping, watching her son’s soccer game, then having a legit date night for the first time in almost two months. Catch y’all mofos later.