“We all know Jesus had the Apostles, but did he have like a best friend? Was he ever like, ‘I think everyone knows the Apostles, and this here is my buddy Earl. We were in marching band together. He thinks this whole Messiah thing is craaaazy.'” – Jim Gaffigan

“I finally figured out my goals in life. See, the important part in knowing your goals is not to set some big, impossible goal — something you can never reach. You gotta have a series of smaller goals that you can accomplish and get the reward and then move on to the next one. So this is what I have done. My goal right now? I want to be the All-Being: Master of Time, Space, and Dimension… then, I want to go to Europe.” – Steve Martin

Whew… that was quite a weekend. Now we’re back to pretty much nothing happening until training camp.

What position/player would you be willing to trade back up into the 2nd round to draft?

I was originally gonna say that the most appropriate name for this thread would be…

“The Bitching About Whoever We Took In the First Round Unless It Was Somehow Bryce Young Thread, and Even Then, Several People Probably Wanting to Bitch About Him Being Too Small Thread”

However, after our surprising haul last night, I think we should call it…

“The Unexpected Excitement About Big-Dick-Nick and Cap’n Meco Getting Super F***in’ Aggressive and Trading Up to Snag Both a Top-Tier QB and the Best Defensive Player in the Draft, While Simultaneously Screwing Over the BESFs Thread”

Dang, today is getting nuts already. Tonight can’t get here fast enough…

Okay, here’s the deal. Round 1 is tonight, and it’s obviously going to generate the most discussion (especially since we have two picks). So here’s what we’re gonna do. The “Round 1 Thread” will be the primary draft thread. As soon as our picks are made, I will post separate new threads specifically to discuss those players (i.e. a C.J. Stroud thread, a Will Anderson thread, a Hingle McCringleberry thread, whatever). Discussion of those picks should move there, while the main thread stays with general draft talk. Also, please refrain from embedding tweets during the draft, since those threads will likely be a very busy and we don’t want to bog things down. Finally, please don’t spoil any of the picks prior to the broadcast announcements.

The thread for the first round of the draft will post at 6:00pm. Catch y’all on the flip side.

Well folks, it’s almost Draft Day…

Happy “Perfect Date” Day from Miss Congeniality.

“What’s bullshit, Mr. Quaid? That you’re having a paranoid episode triggered by acute neuro-chemical trauma? Or that you’re really an invincible secret agent from Mars who’s the victim of an interplanetary conspiracy to make him think he’s a lowly construction worker?”