Hey guys, sorry the thread is late this morning… I mean… it was a test. Yeah, that’s the ticket…

Apparently today is National Eat What You Want Day. So if you were on Death Row, what would be your last meal?

I’ll go first… I believe mine would consist of the following:

• Prime rib with horseradish sauce
• Hashbrown casserole
• My mom’s chicken and dumplings
• Fried cinnamon apples
• Homemade banana pudding
• Founder’s Dirty Bastard Scotch Ale

Well, tonight my fiancée and I are supposed to have an official meeting with our pastor to talk about marriage stuff. Fortunately our pastor is awesome (and the same age as us), so we’re just gonna meet up with him and his wife to hang out and have a few drinks.

Happy Victory In Europe Day, everybody! F*** the Nazis! Both past and present!

I won’t be around much this weekend. On Saturday, we’re driving out to the country for a big family reunion and to celebrate my mom, who’s been fighting leukemia for 12 years, ringing the bell at MD Anderson. Oh, and it’s also her 62nd birthday. And then I’m singing at church on Sunday morning, so I’ll catch you mofos sometime on Sunday afternoon. Be good while I’m gone!

Why is it that all of our international holidays end up being just different excuses to get drunk? I mean… you’ve got Cinco de Mayo, Saint Patrick’s Day, Mardi Gras, Oktoberfest… maybe something else happens in other countries, but here, we just get hammered.

In honor of Star Wars Day (May the Fourth be with you!), I decided to post one of my favorite videos of all time. Yes folks, it’s Darth Vader, with all his lines replaced by Brick Top from Snatch. And it’s absolutely glorious. Enjoy.

“We all know Jesus had the Apostles, but did he have like a best friend? Was he ever like, ‘I think everyone knows the Apostles, and this here is my buddy Earl. We were in marching band together. He thinks this whole Messiah thing is craaaazy.'” – Jim Gaffigan