Who let the dogs out?

Have you ever seen the rain?

Do you know the Muffin Man?

Soooo… this video just showed up in my Facebook memories. It’s Andre Johnson getting repeatedly spanked by a female fan during a game. The dumb NFL won’t let me embed here, so I made a GIF instead:

Dare I say… the Bills (like the Chiefs) actually look mortal this season.

Ranking the Top 5 Worst Teams in the NFL:

#1 – New York Jets (0-6)
Obviously the only winless team in the league has to take the top spot. Justin Fields is not a good passer. In their game against the Broncos, Fields got sacked nine times, and the team had a total of 82 yards of offense, with -10 net passing yards. Their pass protection is bad, their coaching is bad, their defense can’t create turnovers… they should just trade us Breece Hall and call it a season.

#2 – Tennessee Titans (1-5)
Cam Ward has thrown three touchdowns, four interceptions, has a completion percentage of only 55%, and has been sacked 25 times (more than any other QB in the league). He looks pretty terrible, but still, the BESFs definitely threw him to the wolves this season. They statistically have the worst offense in the league, their entire roster is a mess, and their coach is probably on the hot seat.

#3 – Cleveland Browns (1-5)
The Browns are currently paying eight different quarterbacks: Deshaun Watson, Jameis Winston, Dillon Gabriel, Joe Flacco, Shedeur Sanders, Bailey Zappe, Dorian Thompson-Robinson, and Kenny Pickett. Only four of those are currently on the team, only two of them are on the active roster, and none of them appear to be any good. God bless ’em… this team truly is the Factory of Sadness.

#4 – New Orleans Saints (1-5)
After Derek Carr unexpectedly retired, they were left with Spencer Rattler at quarterback, which is obviously less than ideal. He hasn’t been overtly terrible, but the team has also been broken down by numerous injuries to the offensive line and at skill positions. Also, their defense is bad at tackling, their secondary is young and inexperienced, and they’re gonna be in cap-hell for the rest of eternity.

#5 – Miami Dolphins (1-5)
Tua Tagovailoa isn’t necessarily a bad quarterback, per se. He has thrown a lot of touchdowns (the seventh most in the league), but he’s also thrown a lot of interceptions (the third most in the league), and he’s a recurring injury risk. Plus their defense is bad, giving up an average of 29 points per game. I’m still a fan of Devon Achane, but any team that signs Tyreek Hill can go f*** themselves.

Honorable Mention: Baltimore Ravens (1-5)
Even though the Ravens are the last team in the league with a 1-5 record, they’re a step above these other teams because of their winning history and because they’ve been so horribly decimated by injuries. However, they deserve mockery for stupidly playing Cooper Rush instead of Tyler Huntley after the injury bug caught Lamar Jackson, who has proven to be essentially their entire offense.

I’ve got the Bye Week Blues.

Jaxson Dart high-fiving the ref last night was pretty great.